Christians Care More When They Know How To Care. "Christian Caregiving" by Kenneth Haugk

For those coming over from "The Thoughtful Pastor Blog", this posting is expanded beyond a book review and offers an outline plus a few extra observations.  Feel free to add your comments.  


Christians care.  Some more than other and some in different ways.  We have different callings, gifts, graces and talents.  Our unique spiritual fingerprints are left behind when we give care in the name of Christ in witness to these things.  Many of us get very uncomfortable when an opportunity to care is presented.  "Christian Caregiving" by Kenneth Haugk tells the story of caregiving.

Christ taught by example and through story.  Haugk's story gives the reader techniques in a way that are caught rather than taught in order to become that caring example.  Through this a Christian disciple is empowered to take action in the everyday moments that need God's touch.  This builds the disciple and transforms the world in this most basic and defining function of the church.  

"Christian Caregiving" is the introductory course for the Stephen Ministries.  It is designed to bring the disciple into a deeper caregiving life.  This book is over 25 years old and remains a relevant workhorse of a teaching book.  Our church is using it as a Lenten devotional study with the hopes of having a Stephen Ministry forming later.  The book's 20 short chapters are focused and easy to read.  It is a teaching book for the student.  There are few bullet points, only the story that caries the reader to a conclusion requiring a decision to give care.   An outstanding book for pastor's, caring groups, and evangelism committees.  

If you would like a copy of our Lent 2012 study guide,  email me at revavanhooser@gmail.com.  My guide is not sanctioned by Stephen Ministries but an outline of the book to guide a conversation in our particular group.  I admit that it is a short cut but desire our group to explore  this ministry before immersing them in the commitment that a Stephen Minister must make.  A Leader's Guide by Haugk and McKay, ISBN 086627012 is available from your favorite bookseller and provides more depth than we will go into during the 40-days of this year.  This Lent we hope to cast a vision for a ministry of care for our congregations and District.    

The Stephen Ministries is a group formed on 1975, "for training and organizing laypeople to provide one-to-one Christian care to hurting people in and around your congregation." They have a complete system that is extraordinarily successful in doing this. For more information about forming a Stephen Ministry group and accessing their many resources, go to http://www.stephenministries.org .  


 We have structured this study to cast a vision of caring as ministry and offer the tools to hear that call more than merely get basic instructions.  Rather than meet weekly, the hope is to attract more by having two Sunday afternoon gatherings to cover 1/2 of the book at each.  We will ask questions from each chapter and see where the conversation goes.  After Easter we will collect those who hear a calling to caring ministry and develop a structure-such as the Stephen Ministries.  


Here is my outline of the book and a brief agenda for  during our group gatherings.  Each will open with prayer and a meal.  

For Session 1: 1-3:00, Sunday March 4

The Preface and Chapter 1:  It’s Not Easy 

• We will begin with a very brief Spiritual Gifts profile and discuss how God has wired us for ministry. 

• What are we trying to do here and why? 

• We already care at some level as a Christian.  What are the things that hold us back from truly giving that care?

Chapter 2:  God as the Curegiver

• What is the role of the Christian caregiver in any situation?

  

• What is God’s role?

 Chapter 3:  God, You and Me

• What is our role within God’s role in Christian caregiving?

Chapter 4:  Why Care?

• What motivates you to care and to show care for others?

 Chapter 5:  Family Ties

• How does your individual effort in Christian caregiving fit into the mission of Christ through His church?

Chapter 6:  Move Over Freud

• How does faith make caregiving more effective, or for that matter, possible?

• How can faith add value to medicine and education and sociology?

 Chapter 7:  Touching Spiritual Depths

• What are some of the deeper questions in your life that need answers?

• What are some of the obstacles to getting those answers?

• What are some things that we can do to open the door to answers?

 Chapter 8:  Ministering to the Whole Person

• What does “Holistic” mean to you?

• How does the Bible show Jesus Christ as “Holistic?”

• What are some of the pitfalls that keep us from caring holistically?

Chapter 9:  Servanthood vs. Servitude

• What is the difference between servanthood and servitude?

• What are the pitfalls to caregiving from servanthood?  Which of these do you struggle with?

 Chapter 10:  A Surprise Gift, Forgiveness and Confession

• How has God demonstrated forgiveness toward you?

• How do you demonstrate forgiveness toward others?

• List and be ready to discuss the four practical steps to introduce forgiveness into your relationships.

 Chapter 11:  Confession and Absolution over the Back Fence

• What is the difference in private confession and confessing to a live person? 

• How can you be a “Caring Cary” rather than a “Harsh Harry” or a “Libertine Larry”?

 Read Chapters 10-20-one short chapter per day to be ready for the session!

For Session 2:  March 25 from 1-3:00 PM

We will begin this section with a brief questionnaire on Relating Styles.  How we see ourselves affects how we see others.

Chapter 10 & 11:  A Surprise Gift, Forgiveness and Confession and Absolution over the Back Fence Confession and Absolution over the Back Fence (Repeated from last time)

We will continue our discussion of the four practical steps to introduce forgiveness into relationships.

Chapter 12:  Tools of Your Trade:  Their Use and Abuse

We will now make the jump to learning some practical skills of Christian Caregiving.  This is a pivotal chapter.  Read this very closely and list the skills that you either have or want to have to be an effective caregiver.

• What are our guiding principles as caregivers?

• Where are lay people more important than clergy in caregiving?

Chapter 13:  Prayer

• How is the nature of prayer triangular?

• How should prayer be used in caregiving?

• How should prayer NOT be used in caregiving?

• Let’s build a prayer- A way to be ready to pray aloud in any situation.

Chapter 14:  The Bible

• Why and how is the Bible used as a tool in Christian Caregiving?

 Chapter 15:  Sharing a Blessing

• How can you use a benediction in your Christian Caregiving?

 Chapter 16: A Cup of Cold Water

• What are the “cups of cold water” that you have to share?

• What is your part in the “umbrella of caring”?

Chapter 17:  The Evangelism-Caring Connection

• How does the book define Evangelism?

• What makes caring evangelistic?

Chapter 18: Celebrating Results

• How can focusing on results keep you from achieving them?

• What are some process goals versus result goals?

• What is the most important “result” to any caregiving?

Chapter 19: Hope Full Caregiving

• How can caregiving be “hope-full?”

  

Chapter 20:  The Thrill of it All

• How is God your Power Source?

• Where are you in your Caregiver Journey?

• Where can your calling and skills build the Church?

Benediction:  Assessment, Feedback and goal setting

Our churches and pastors need called, motivated and prepared caregivers.  What does a caregiving ministry look like?  What are some steps to make this ministry happen?

Men Belong In Church...even if the church doesn't act like it sometimes: Review of David Murrow's "Why Men Hate Going to Church"

David Murrow asks a valid question in his title. Why do men hate going to church? What do you do about the gender gap in the church? He spends the first half of the book defining his terms, proving there is a gap and pointing out the church's failings in focused detail. Has the church become a ladies club? Have we given up on the risen Christ as a "real man?" Is there any thing to do about it.



The second half of the book gives concrete help in amending church structure and style to appeal to boys and all ages of men.  My only critique of the book is the assumption that we can simply bend the shape of the church and be overrun with men.  This is not as easy as leaving out hugging or going with a solo "Man Up" style. Men are important and neglected but are still a part of the church's whole. We cannot control all of the cultural reasons that the church has this gender gap and we cannot leave the women out.  Murrow does, however, give an extensive list of things that are in the church control to be and become a "Church for Everyone."


The author also includes  an excellent presence on the web. His site, churchformen.com offers helps that are consistent with the book including a helpful pop quiz or "Guy Friendliness Test". He also has a speaker's board.   My church,deep in cowboy country in Texas, and I failed this test.  I am a real guy, ok?  This book opened my eyes to the guy repelling habits that I have and our church pays little attention to.  The hugging thing, getting the scriptural Jesus's story right, handling prayer, basics of ministry to and other things are fairly simple to fix.  This can be done without minimizing women and the holistic ministry of the church too. Murrow puts ministry to men on the "front burner" and then tells us ways to attract them.


I recommend this book highly to pastors, all age level ministers, Christian educators and worship leaders. This would help a Godly and frustrated wife or mom to understand her men.   "Why Men Hate Going to Church"  would probably not be a small group study but that is guy repelling anyway.  It would be a super staff study and focus book for any Men's Group or ministry.  


Tyndale publishing gave me this book through their BookSneeze program for free in exchange for this review. They expected and received my honest evaluation.  Thanks to them for the opportunity to read it and thank you for reading my review.  


Addendum:  Book review are worthless unless they come with some sort of application.  There are several of these types of books on the shelves right now.  I reccomend this oneand "Average Joe" by Troy Meeder, also reviewed on this blog.  Below are some random thoughts that sum up some of Rev. Murrow's advice and my observations.

• First, Every pastor, male or female, has had a conflict with a women's group, Sunday school class, choir or kitchen crew.  I am not alone in this experience.   Part of me understands why men give up and won't come.  The rest of me is terrified that the church will lose them, or worse, they will lose touch with Christ.  We lose their son's and many other boys with them.  Besides, it is nice to hang out and be a guy in ministry and not just the pastor.
• I will confirm about 20 young people in my 2 years here at this appointment-one of them is a male-a fine young man at that.  Where are the rest of them?   My trend over 20 years isn't much better.  This is a real issue and needs to be addressed.
• You don't have to minimize  women to attract men.  The book is not selling a patriarchal structure or merely stating an over correction.  
• Most spiritual formation and Christian Ed. literature appeals to women and girls.  Teachers and ministry leader have to work for the attention of boys and men.  Most lay volunteers either won't or can't.  Again, ed. leadership needs to build awareness.  
• Call men back.  Call them boldly with messages and programs that put men to doing.  Pastor them and expect them to find Christ.  Murrow says, "There's no need for knife-throwing during communion or hand-to-hand combat during the offertory"  well, maybe just a little (P. 125)
• Don't forget humor-it isn't just a guy thing.
• Watch the hugging, praying aloud, "Prayer mushrooms" (p. 195) and mixed groups but don't give up on it either.  All men aren't immune to such things.
• Relationships  for most men are different and so must relationship programming. So be different but teach it and have men's only events once in a while.
• Plan around men-even if they won't come at first. Hands on doing with men and boys will build the kingdom of God.
• Check out Murrow's website and do the survey.  Most is common sense but neglected by church leadership.  This is not a conspiracy by women-those who show up get to choose and deserve respect.  Men need an advocate,  Pastor!  That's you......and me.

Tired of the Trivial: Going Deep by Gordon MacDonald

Going Deep is a book for those who are weary of mind candy.  On the surface this is a leadership geek book for pastors but there is more going on here.  Gordon MacDonald and his wife Gail are an amazing pastoral couple and give us a book with two threads.

 First, a process of leading a congregation from "my" (Gordon's) great idea to cultivate leadership to our purpose as the church. This process begins with the plea for an "Elevator Story" at a ball game, was filtered through a time of prayer, went to a church already accustomed to being "cultivated,  on to dreaming, informing, reflecting, selecting, cultivating, casting, adjusting, healing and building.  The end result is not a linear process but a culture that expects the cultivation of spiritual depth.  This is customary for most leadership books.

Second, "Going Deep" offers an almost magical look into a pastoral leader's thought process.  There are no punch lists and few bullet points.  The book offers a glimpse into the mind of a deep thinker as he journeys from the birth of a prayer borne idea to its evolution and application.  Written in a narrative style, it is both a teaching and learning experience.  The journey begins with a trip to West Point on to a conversation at a Red Sock's game, through the city dump, a rabbi's office and then through various levels and gatherings of the church.  The end result is not the end but a community of Cultivated Deep People-who happen to be Christ-Followers.

These are the main teaching points that I want to apply to my life and ministry.

• Pray for God to give you an idea and not merely ask a blessing on your idea. Trust God for your starting point.
• The time and talent of the pastor must be invested in the idea. PASTOR must make a stand. Have relationships with members deep enough to go to the ball game with.
• The time and talent of your pastor must be invested in the idea.  The CHURCH must likewise make a stand.  Have a deep enought relationship with your pastor and take him or her to the ballgame.  Allowing this level of focus by taking extraneous duties away makes this process a success.  And no, most of us don't have all of this staff and will stand alone to find this focus
•  Take your time and allow an idea to develop on the spiritual foundation that you have laid..  Most leadership books try to be instant-this one took two years and is still evolving.  
• Recruit core leaders who are teachable, grow-able and able to mentor.  Don't collect those that need to get involved to feel better or deal with a spiritual crisis.  
• Listen to all of your voices; executives, corporate trainers, rabbis, and various group members.  All are your counselors.  God's voice comes from the strangest places-don't forget to listen to member in the "corners", children and youth.
• Remember to let scripture guide and Journal.  There is power to writing down the journey. The Bible teaches powerfully in a narrative and so does George MacDonald.  Journaling a narrative during a long term project allows for feedback, correction and definitive assessment.
• Expect depth.  The author pushed courageously for depth and   "Depth comes before competence".  Too often we try to keep everyone comfortable-God tested and so should his church.  
• Keep current with technology-surround yourself with young people and young at heart.  There is nothing pious about being backward.  
• Finally, trust your people.  MacDonald's leadership let him lead and his diverse CDP (Cultivating Deep People) team members were trusted to follow and then lead.  He communicates the wonder of a deep thinking group of Christians sharing the same Christ led vision and watched as they wandered and discovered.

I was blessed by this book.  Any pastor, administrative leader, evangelism leader and Christian ed. leaders will be provoked to a new way through its subtle lessons.  Thanks to Tyndale's Book Sneeze program for giving me this book in exchange for this review.  They expected and received an honest review.  Thanks for reading TheThoughtfulPastor blog.  

No Geek for Non Fiction can be without Book TV

Saturdays are a workday for me and I can usually keep booktv on CSPAN2, or http://www.booktv.org ,  on while I am doing my office and household chores.  I have" met" more authors and learned of books  from these shows than I can name. Book TV tries very hard to keep the politics balanced and does many different genre of non-fiction. CSPAN began in the '70s and has blossomed into quite a network.  BookTV  emerged in 1998 from a program called "Book Notes" that ran for quite a few years. There are no Hollywood special effects here.  The production budget is spartan but the content, usually from book signings, is good.  Admittedly, you have to wade through a few droll programs that seem to go on forever.  This is why God gave us a mute button.  Keep looking, there are some seriously interesting, world class panels and speakers too.    See their website for book news, podcasts and programming info.  No book geek, tragically hip geeks even, can be without it. 

Old Gold: Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

Someone once said that each time you read a new book you should add an old book too. We have looked at the essential books and "Mere Christianity" is certainly a golden nugget on the book shelf.

Lewis is brilliant and I just recently found out he is a "heretic and not a real born again Christian", at least according to some of his contemporaries.  He is a thinker and expresses these thoughts well.  Irish by birth and a self proclaimed atheist, he came to Christ in middle age.  Some call him "new age" and I suppose his fiction might qualify.  He is a devotional writer and thinker but not a Bible commentator.  This book and "The Screwtape Letters" are the only two really blessed me and never got into the Wardrobe books.  I am not ready to make him a saint but his writings reflect a man searching for Christ and using scripture to guide his way.

 These chapters were written for the radio and take his tone and personality to the page. Definitely British, with some aging language, and he sometimes using humor that eludes me, and he speaks from mind more than heart.  He makes sense out of deep things by making them obvious. Few writers that have kept their relevance for modern/post modern readers like "Mere" and C.S. Lewis. Chapter 10's snippet on "Hope" is an example. Lewis deals with the anxiety and often disillusioned responses of the late 1940's at is essence. His frustration with the Christian response and the culture's understanding of the Christian life reflect those of mine and many others. "There is no need to be worried by facetious people who try to make the Christian hope of "heaven" ridiculous by saying they do not want "to spend eternity playing harps." The answer to such people is that if they cannot understand books written for grown ups, they should not talk about them....People who take these symbols literally might as well think that when Christ told us to be like doves, He meant that we were to lay eggs." (P. 106)

This is a good collections of thoughts for those struggling with the Christian faith, whether churched or not.  Lewis struggled and perhaps that is why I find resonance with him.   I found a place on my 'essentials' shelf for "Mere Chistianity."  It is worth reading and re-reading in personal devotions.

Unique Christianity in a cookie cutter culture: "Soul Print" by Mark Batterson

Writing book review for a free book was a new thing for me when"Soul Print" came in. I found this book to be fresh and focused. "Soul Print" is only 183 pages but packed with insight that lead to "out-sight".  I read it in about two hours but re-read it in my morning quiet time.  Batterson offers an interesting look at the importance of being the unique person that God makes you to be.

The author insists that this is not a self help book on page 2. Before the first story Batterson declares, "Self-Help is nothing more than idolatry dressed up in a rented tuxedo. So let me be blunt; you aren't good enough or gifted enough to get where God wants you to go. Not without His help." However, with God's help in discovering your unique self, there is "nothing God cannot do in you and through you if you simply yield your life to Him. All of it. All of you." I have read dozens of "self help-fixit" books and they all add a little value but ultimately fail. They usually attempt you to fix your Self rather than discover your Self. With God you know more about who you are and find what you can become. Apart from God, the path is pretty rocky. None of this is new. However, this presentation is pretty fresh even if his writing style is a bit frantic and dis-jointed.

More on Mark  www.markbatterson.com

"Soul Print" is a mash-up of the life of David, the Old testament king, and a loose autobiography of the author set up like a theater play. It works. David, Mark Batterson and I journey together on a path of discovering ourselves-and must discover God first in order to do it. The author is easy to read, doesn't take himself too seriously and is just plain funny without being flippant. The book also makes its point. Some of the lightness of the book runs the reader's thinking deep and even dark. No spiritual stone is unturned in fresh language, little churchy jargon and well applied scripture.

You can check out Chapter One for free by going to: http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/2010/11/19/sneak-peek-soulprint-by-mark-batterson/

Searching for somehting? Take this on your journey. Too often the church is seen as a bunch of old people chasing after you with a cookie cutter.  Batterson is pointing out God's  permission to be unique.   I like the book and am richer for reading it. Multnomah press gave me this book free in exchange for this review. would you do me a favor?  I thank Multnomah for risking negative comments and you for reading my blog.

Addendum:  Mark writes, "I'm convinced of this: your leadership potential is directly proportional to your prayer capacity. You can't do anything until you pray, but when you start drawing prayer circles around your dreams and God's miracles, all bets are off. With prayer, all things are possible." Mark has a new book "The Circle Maker".    John Maxwell's site has an article written by him at
http://www.catalystspace.com/content/read/the_circle_maker/

The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith

O my regular blog, "thethoughtfulpastor.blogspot.com", this book review has has more hits than any other article. The first thing I noticed was that it is from the Renovare folks, led by Richard J. Foster. His is one of my "mentors". Foster's book, Celebration of Discipline, was a gift to this 'Protestant' nearly 20 years ago and gave new life to spiritual praxis to many-it sits on my essentials shelf. Foster is a quaker and committed to a ministry of "becoming like Jesus" rather than merely churched. They have an i "Good and Beautiful God" is a part of Renovare's "Apprentice Series" and comes with an online leader guide, retreat outlines and individual instructions too.    A brief bio of the author is on Amazon at .http://www.amazon.com/James-Bryan-Smith/e/B001IGOMV8  An interactive blog found at http://www.renovare.us/ also.  

James Bryan Smith  

The goal of the book is for each participant to fall in love "with the God that Jesus Knows." Scripture is the lens that brings six attributes of God into focus. Each lesson has a rhythm of an opening story from the author, a False narrative of an attribute, The Jesus narrative of the same, an invitation to transformation, "Soul Training"-specific actions to practice the lesson and participating in community. The topics of God's goodness, trustworthiness, generosity, love, holiness, self-sacrificing and transformation are brought into a modern/post-modern context without being disconnected from the Holy Bible. The focus is on connection, correction and transformation

I read the book during my personal time for a month and was richly blessed. In our congregation we have a weekly group, organized by the leader guide, and also members reading through individually. This is a group book in its design and intent. But, the rhythm is bearing fruit in those who are either too bashful or too busy to take part in a group. It is a wonderful guide for anyone's study. By using it in personal time, the pressure to complete the lessons and training in a week is taken away. I would like to see a Sunday School class or other group study it over several months or a year rather than the 12 week or retreat setting

The "Soul Training", which sounds better than a "discipline", is hard hitting, pointed and practical. Smith avoids the usual spiritual formation jargon and breathes a fresh sense of God's spirit into these practices! The first "discipline" to get some sleep! Who knew that a nap could be a spiritual thing. Others include making time for silence, making praise a habit, praying the scripture as a personal word, and more.

In my world, our congregations are organized into districts and our entire district is invited to take part in this study. Our county has 6 congregations of our denomination and we have arranged the lessons so they can be shared, mixed and mingled by all. We have congregations of different races and neighborhoods that have not met each other. The study gave us an opportunity to unify around Spirit led Christian praxis. I have made some changes in my life and made some friends through the book. The rest of the Apprentice series deserves a look too. My experience is very positive from both a personal and pastoral perspective. Good book and an excellent and interesting read.

Our congregation completed the 12 weeks course as the group described above. We started with 14 people in the group plus three studying personally. We ended with nine in the group and the three at home. All of the feedback was positive and we have scanned Smith's follow up study, "The Good and Beautiful Life". We will read it laterl. The good news is that the group will continue beyond this book as a Bible Study. I wished for more mixing from the other local churches but it was a good start. Our final group gathering was a communion service and each participant shared the biggest single impact that the book made. Each one had a practice to add to their daily devotional life....or something to take away. Smith planted some seeds for the future in our church. PASTORS-Look at this seriously for your congregations. It will not draw a big crowd but it will deepen the ones that come and develop Spirit led leaders.